To sleep or not to sleep.... new born questions

So, you've just had the baby, or you are just about to and you're wondering, how do I make sure I get sleep so I have the energy to look after my little one....

This is one of the main things that I panicked about while I was pregnant and I talked to my partner and before I gave birth we worked out a routine. 

Whatever you do, if you are in a couple and you live together, do not both get up together with every feed, it will drain you both and you will both end up walking round like zombies, both be irritable and won't know how to carry on, and even arguing with each other, is the last thing you need right now, trust me I have seen it happen so many times. 

The last thing you need is to make this new lifestyle harder than it has to be! 

I found the best thing to do is sit there with your partner and work out a routine that works for you both, are you going to take the nights in turns? Or are you going to set it so that every day is the same? 

Don't worry if you haven't got a partner and you are a single parent I will get to that in a minute.

Just whatever you choose make sure it is fair to both parents. The last thing you want is to start doing something one or even both aren't happy with, then that cause an arguement too, you don't need that extra stress.

Thankfully I was lucky, my partner was used to being up till the early hours of the morning as he suffers with insomnia, so what we did was I stayed up till around 11 and did the last feed around that time and settle our son down after this milk, at which time I would tip-toe off to bed and get some sleep. My partner would stay up till about 3-4am and do the feed just before that and then settle our little on down before jumping into bed himself (sometimes quite literally jumping bless him haha) 

Then the next feed would be mine, which normally was around 7/8am, at this point I would get up and feed our little one and do everything that needed to be done. I would leave my partner to sleep until around 11/12 depending and what time he had gone to bed, I'd know this time because he would have left me a sweet little note say "went to bed at 4am, don't even try to get me up before 12", such a lovely note to wake up to. No he meant nothing by it, it was just a note to let me know what time he needed sleep for so that we both ended up getting a nice 8 hours sleep. 

This worked really nicely for us, I'm not saying this is what will work for you, don't get me wrong, every child is different, and we were lucky that our little one went for 4 hours between feeds pretty much straight away, some children will go for 2/3 hours before feeds for the first little while or some will still go 4 hours between the start of a feed to the start of the next feed but will take an hour to actually drink that whole feed. It's about working out what's best for you and what is best for the baby. Which I am sure you know, and have been told many, many times.

Right, so if you're a single parent, you're probably sitting there at the moment thinking, okay that's great but how do I make sure I get sleep? I know this is a frightening thought and you already are wondering 'what the hell am I going to do?' Just like most mums with partners will be thinking as it gets to the end of their partners paternity leave, I know I did. 

You might be lucky, your parents might be chipping in and saying they will help, but honestly don't rely on that. The best thing I can suggest is, and this is going to sound so cliche I know as I thought it did too but, sleep when the baby sleeps.... yeah I hear you "but I have the house work to do, tidying, dinner to make, bottles to make etc. How do I do that if I'm sleeping?" Or the "easy for you to say" ... but honestly it works. I'm not meaning sleep every single time because a baby will sleep a lot during the day especially after they have a bottle, so choose your times. Night feeds I would suggest sleeping between those and some of the morning and/or evening feeds but the rest is when you squeeze in all the other bits you need to do, it will really help if you're organised and prepared. 

That might sound obvious and you might be thinking, that's not any help, in which case I am sorry, but it is the best advice I can give you without knowing your child and knowing their routine, like I said, every child is different and this will not work for every single child out there, but this is what worked for me and how I coped with the feeds before my little one started going through the night.

I hope this helps

The next blog will be on things the midwives forget to mention and should be up within the next week.... I hope you enjoyed the read and join me again for the next blog